Dear Bunmi,
When my wife got pregnant, we agreed to prove everyone wrong and have a great sex life despite having a child. Now the baby is here, our resolve has gone out of the window. My wife is tired most of the time and I’m not exactly full of energy myself. What can we do to bring back-oar sex life? Dan, by e-mail
Dear Dan,
You need to face the fact that the hot, lusty sex you once had is temporarily on hold. But what experts term ‘warm sex’ could be a nice replacement. By this, it means sex that involves both of you doing something sexy together but doesn’t necessarily result in orgasm – or even both of you getting massively turned on. The advice here is to think back to the mornings when you spooned-stroking each other in a non-demanding way, happy to just lie snuggling in that sleepy, sexy state. Sex is ‘warm’ when it’s calm and not particular intense, and this is the sort of sex you’ll have the most of during the first few years of parenthood. Value it for what it is – a way of maintaining sexual connection and you’ll have much more chances of returning to the sex you were used to after your kids grow up a little.
When my wife got pregnant, we agreed to prove everyone wrong and have a great sex life despite having a child. Now the baby is here, our resolve has gone out of the window. My wife is tired most of the time and I’m not exactly full of energy myself. What can we do to bring back-oar sex life? Dan, by e-mail
Dear Dan,
You need to face the fact that the hot, lusty sex you once had is temporarily on hold. But what experts term ‘warm sex’ could be a nice replacement. By this, it means sex that involves both of you doing something sexy together but doesn’t necessarily result in orgasm – or even both of you getting massively turned on. The advice here is to think back to the mornings when you spooned-stroking each other in a non-demanding way, happy to just lie snuggling in that sleepy, sexy state. Sex is ‘warm’ when it’s calm and not particular intense, and this is the sort of sex you’ll have the most of during the first few years of parenthood. Value it for what it is – a way of maintaining sexual connection and you’ll have much more chances of returning to the sex you were used to after your kids grow up a little.
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